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Sanny

Sanny

Hopeless

Hopeless  - Colleen Hoover I really, really want to hate you all for loving this book so much that I had to read it and had my heart broken so often that I stopped counting. Writing this I’m at 84% of this book and it took me almost an hour to read the previous 10% because the letters kept blurring from all the tears.At 35% I was sure what would be a part of this story, so I had a some time to brace myself and it didn’t help one bit because I just can’t seem to stop crying since I hit around 74%.The characters are unique and just so damn loveable. Sky found the strength to face her worst fears when her world was breaking down around her and I’ve got no idea how that is even possible – I probably would’ve crumbled. Holder is simply too amazing for words. He means so well and carries so much guilt for things that aren’t his fault. Every time the guilt starts up, I want to shake him and yell that it isn’t his fault that these monsters aren’t only fiction but do actually exist in reality. He always knows what to say and when to say it and I really wish that every teenage boy would be like him. And slutty Six, what can I say? Quirky, funny and a seriously awesome friend. Just like Breckin.Colleen Hoover knows how to spin a breathtaking story, there’s humor, friendship and love but also moments so horrifying that I wish I could’ve clawed my eyes out after reading them. I’m still unaware of the actual ending and as much as I wish I could hate you all for making me read this, I can’t because this is a hauntingly beautiful story and I wish I could castrate every single person doing this to a child. Rape is one of the vilest things existing on earth but doing this to a child who doesn’t even have the mental capacity to understand what is happening is beyond disgusting – I wish I could think of a word stronger than disgust but my mind seems to be fried. A child who looks at his/her parents in all its innocence and thinks that their personal heroes can’t possibly do any wrong, should never have to live through this. Never.There are many more things I want to say, but I’ll save that for tomorrow when I slept over this one and had time to recover my ability to write at least halfway comprehensible sentences instead of this mad rambling.-------------------------------A day after finishing this and crying myself to sleep, it's still hard to gather my thoughts. The flashbacks are the hardest part of this story, each and every one of them made me feel like I was just gutted. "Will you promise me that when he makes you sad, you'll think about the sky?"There are so many good parts in this book but this one is my favorite lines. These are the kinds of promises you'll never forget, and Sky doesn't, she just doesn't remember for a long time why she likes the sky so much. "Sometimes you have to choose between a bunch of wrong choices and no right ones. You just have to choose which wrong choice feels the least wrong."Like usual Holder is spot on. Karen may not have done the right thing but she did a good thing and I can't say that I blame her. Her actions saved the life of someone innocent and even if it wasn't the right choice, it was still teh best thing she could've done in my eyes."He reaches his hand out on the concrete between us and wraps his pinky around mine."Reaching this part, my emotions were already so raw that this sentence brought another round of tears. Not because it was so sad but because I realized that, despite all, they still had their firsts and some of them even twice. I can't explain the emotion that last sentence evoked but I want to remember it for a long time and I'm sure that not only this feeling but the whole story will be on my mind for a long time as well.